Found
by Rangergirl3
Summary: (Yet another) fic idea I thought for post-Season 2. Note: This is /not/ part of my Lost Paladins series - it's just an idea I really wanted to write out. You know, because angst is so damn inspiring. I hate myself sometimes.


When Shiro opened his eyes, he realized the Druids had him.

Again.

He tried to scream, to warn his team of the danger that awaited them, but he couldn't. Whatever this blackness was that surrounded him blocked all sound, all noise, all attempts at movement.

He didn't know how this had happened, and he didn't care, because he suddenly remembered what this darkness _was_. It was a living thing of Haggar's design, and it was clinging fast to him, keeping him from making any sound, preventing him from doing anything at all.

Nevertheless, he tried to scream again - a shout - a cry - _anything_ that could warn his friends to _get away from here_ \- but then the blackness around him _squeezed_ , and he felt a horrible crushing sensation in his chest. He couldn't breathe, couldn't move, couldn't say anything at all. It was like an entire planet's gravity had him pinned under its immense weight, and all he could do was _listen_.

Listen as the people he cared for most in the world came ever closer and closer to danger, to death, to something worse than either -

 ** _They are mine_** , he heard Haggar purr in utter satisfaction, **_all thanks to you, and there's nothing you can do to stop it -_**

Deep inside him, Shiro felt something in his spirit begin to shiver and break apart.

 _No, please, not this,_ ** _not this - no - nonononono -_**

He felt only fear, and pain, and terror at the thought of the others falling into Haggar's grip, the same one that had him so completely, and so he did the one thing he had promised Allura he would _never,_ ** _ever_** do unless there was no other choice.

He reached out across the astral plane, and he caught hold of the Lions' attention. As he did, Shiro felt his teammates' sudden wonder, their fear and disbelief at realizing he had reached out and was speaking _directly_ to their Lions, and through their Lions, to _them_.

They were back on the Castle - and Black was with them - but they were still in danger - terrible, _terrible_ danger, and he had to warn them, he _had_ to -

He'd never wanted this power, this ability to reach out and _make_ the others hear him like this, make them _listen_ to him like this, but if this was the only way to make sure his team escaped this trap, he would do it. He would do it, a thousand times over, and damn Haggar and anything she did to him for it afterwards.

Even as he felt the Lions and their Paladins turn their attention towards him, he felt a cold and malicious presence begin to overwhelm him like a wave, and he knew he was out of time.

He was out of time, and so he did the only thing he could do.

Shiro _screamed_ for his team to flee, to escape, to just _get away_ _from here_ , and his terror and panic condensed into one word that he put every last ounce of his strength into.

 ** _RUN_**!

His own Lion - far away - much, _much_ too far away to help her Paladin - roared in terror and fury, and the others joined in as well. Shiro could feel his team's absolute confusion, their panic, their fear and horror at realizing he wasn't there, he wasn't _there_ , but then -

Horrible, crushing pressure _everywhere_ , a sense of being caught and suspended, completely helpless, like a fly in a spider's web.

He'd lost the connection to the other Paladins.

He was alone.

Again.

* * *

 _Anger._

 _Fury._

 _Hatred._

 _Rage._

 _He was in agony, and no one was coming to help him._

 _He would never escape again._

The psychic assault from the Druids tore into Shiro's mind again like rabid wolves, and he screamed in sheer agony. He thought he heard someone laugh before everything went dark, but the pain didn't stop.

His head. His mind. His heart. His soul.

 _Pain. There was so much pain._

After what had seemed to be an eternity of it, he couldn't even remember a time before the pain.

He would have started crying, if he'd been able to spare the breath.

* * *

Everything besides the pain had long since vanished from his awareness.

He couldn't move, he couldn't even open his eyes.

All he knew was that he wanted the pain to stop.

He just wanted to stop hurting.

The floor underneath him was cold and hard, but what did it matter?

The pain was never going to stop.

 _Oh, gods._

 _The pain was never going to stop._

His voice was long since gone, but that didn't stop him from crying.

* * *

When Shiro heard the door to his cell open, he wanted to _scream_ in terror and despair, because this was what she did, this was what Haggar _always_ did after she broke him. She came to his cell - she took him to her ship - she cut into him - she _hurt_ him - _over and over and over_ -

Footsteps, someone coming closer - Haggar - it _had_ to be Haggar - no - no - no -

 _-not again-not again-please-please-I can't-I can't-I can't-please-please-please-not again-_

Then other voices were shouting all around him, screaming, swearing, crying in their turn, but he didn't know who they belonged to, and he couldn't link the sounds together enough to understand what was going on. Someone freed his hands - _why would they do that_ \- never mind - it didn't matter - nothing mattered except the pain, and trying to stop it, so he tried to shut out all the noise, the light, the movement around him by pressing his palms to his face, because - _stars and **sky**_ \- his head, his eyes, his mind, it all hurt, it all _hurt_ -

He only realized he had curled into a ball on the floor when he felt other hands on his face, on his shoulders, pulling at him, trying to make him sit up, and instinctively, he recoiled away from the touch, unable to even try to keep from pleading with someone absolutely incapable of mercy for the one thing she would never give.

"- not again - _please_ \- not again - I can't - I can't - I _can't_ \- "

Haggar would _laugh_ at him for begging like this, crying like this, but everything hurt too badly, and Shiro couldn't think of anything except getting away from the pain. He kept his palms pressed tight against his face, because everything _hurt_ \- but his eyes hurt worst of all - and then he tried digging the heels of his hands into his eyes _harder_ , to _make_ them stop hurting, but it didn't work - it _didn't_ _work_ \- the pain was never, _ever_ going to stop -

By his head, he heard someone let out a horrified cry, and then someone else - someone in front of him - said something harsh and scared and fast and then the hands around him were grabbing hold of him, grabbing hold of his shoulders and hair and wrists, pulling Shiro's hands away from his face, away from his eyes.

"- _no - Shiro_ , we can't - _no_ \- stop it - you're going to hurt y- "

His eyes - they hurt so badly - he just wanted the pain to _stop_ \- couldn't these people see that he was just trying to make the pain _stop_ \- and he tried to break free, to get away from whoever had hold of him, but his efforts were in vain.

"- listen - we've got you - you're safe - listen - you're safe - you're _safe_ -"

Then Shiro began to cry again, because everything _hurt_ and he just wanted the pain to _stop_ , he just wanted to _rest_ \- but he couldn't get away - he couldn't get away - he had tried to get free before, but whoever had hold of him was strong - _really_ strong - and Shiro didn't think he could try to get away anymore, because everything hurt, it hurt _so_ much -

"I will _fucking_ turn that _fucking_ witch into _fucking_ dust for _fucking_ doing this to him **_again_ -"**

"- only if you reach her first, Pidge -"

"yeah - you're going to have to get in line - because I _really_ want to _kick her ass_ -"

A horrible, pain-filled whimper finally made it through everything else, and Shiro realized it came from him only when the voices around him seemed to halt in place and listen.

 _"- please - it hurts - please - make it s-s-stop - p-p-please -"_

He felt the grip on his wrists quiver for an instant, and there was a catch of breath - it almost sounded like a sob - from somewhere nearby, and then Shiro felt a pair of small arms wrap around his shoulders in what felt like…a hug…?

…that was weird…

…why…would anyone…hug…him…right now…?

 _Nothing made sense, everything hurt and he just wanted to die, if you died the pain would stop, right - oh gods, please, it **had** to stop, it **had** to stop if you were dead - _

Then another voice spat out a sharp series of words, and there was a lot of worried questions and frantic answers and someone was telling him to hold on, that they had an antidote to the witch's poison, that he would be fine, but Shiro finally himself falling into a deep, deep blackness, and he almost welcomed it.

 _…maybe the pain would stop now…_

The arms around his shoulders tightened again, and there was another sob, and he thought he remembered who the voice belonged to when she spoke again.

Pidge.

Katie.

KatiePidge.

 _\- he never **had** been able to call her by just one name - _

"No, Shiro, _no_ , we want you _here - with us - please_ don't go - we _l-love_ you, Shiro - "

Then the other voices around him were louder now too, pleading for him to wake up, to _look_ at them - but he wasn't sure of anything anymore, because everything was blurry and fading out of focus…but at least the pain was fading, too…

That was all he wanted... all he wanted was for the pain to stop…right…?

But then someone was shaking him by the shoulder, and they were crying, _begging_ him to open his eyes, and they sounded so scared, so lost, so desperate, that Shiro realized that…

…no…

He couldn't just go into the darkness.

That _wasn't_ all he wanted.

Yes...he wanted the pain to stop…and he wanted to rest…but…more than that…

He wanted to live.

He wanted to survive.

He wanted to see his friends again.

 _He wanted to see his friends again._

Shiro thought he felt something near him, something dark and ugly and _hungry_ , snarl in frustration and give a scream of thwarted malice, and then he was opening his eyes.

Keith was right by him, and Shiro thought that he'd never seen his friend this frantic…which was saying something…

"SHIRO!" Keith screamed, and by him, everyone else jumped in place and came crowding closer.

 _Well, shit._

It looked like he been the one to almost die this time.

 _Life was crazy, that was for damn sure._

"…what..did I..miss…" Shiro rasped, and then Keith was telling him to shut the _fuck_ up and also hugging him and telling him to just hold on for just a few more seconds because the healing pod was on its way and also asking why the FUCK had Shiro tried to claw out his own eyes-what was this some sort of horror movie-and about a million other things, but Shiro just listened with tired, but genuine, amusement.

 _Damn_ , Keith was worried. He was hardly ever this talkative otherwise.

Shiro glanced up, seeing how everyone else was there too, and he still felt tired, but also…somehow…glad.

Some days, no matter what you did, you just couldn't get away from the pain.

But then again...some things were worth it.


End file.
